Every year I see a ton of articles, posts, and emails offering tips on how to “survive” the holidays. I feel that much of what is offered is well-intentioned and often truly helpful. So, it prompted me to share a few tips that have come to mind for me as we move through the holidays, the end of the current year, and the beginning of the new year.
1/ Embrace the lights… No matter if you love this time of year and ride right through it embracing every card you write or receive or putting love into every gift you wrap. Or maybe you dread the commercialization, the shopping list, and the to-do’s that come with another year ending. Maybe you’re a bit of both. Either way, it’s tough to deny the lights are kind of soothing for the soul. Slow down…if even for a second…and embrace the beauty.
There’s a lot of time and energy (and often money) put into setting up holiday lights. You see some very simple candles in a window or incredibly well-orchestrated areas of the city that just catch your eye. Some have deep meaning to those that set them up and some are intended just to look pretty, even if there was some serious frustration getting them strung… Either way, I hope you consider the intentions of the souls that strung them for your viewing pleasure and more so, take pleasure in the view.
2/ Connect… This time of year holds so many emotions for people. Some truly love this part of the year for the holidays, for the hope of a new year, and for time with loved ones. Some feel very heavy based on the struggle with change such as the loss of a loved one or just the changing of generational tides. And of course, some like me, are in-between.
It’s a mixed bag of emotions for most and a time that we are busy too. But no matter how busy you get, take a moment to connect with others. This is good for them, and more so for you.
This can mean sharing a friendly exchange with another soul while waiting in a long line or sending a meaningful text to someone you haven’t connected with for a while. Maybe take it a step further and send a bit longer “catch up” email, card, or even a letter. It can mean taking a moment to call someone important to you just to check in and set up a time to meet…even if it’s to share that you’re a bit overloaded, but would like to confirm a date to meet after the holidays… Just the effort to connect soul to soul with others goes a long way for you both and there’s a lot of science to prove the positive effects of connection.
Now, connection can have a more personal meaning too. If you are a spiritual person, make some time, if even a few seconds, every day to just close your eyes and feel the Divinity within and take a nice deep breath of that light. This can be helpful to set the foundation for a full day or even a moment stuck in traffic. It is particularly helpful right before walking into a family gathering where you know there might awkward or uncomfortable energy. Connect with your Divine Source/God/Higher Power or Guides/Angels/Power Animals and know you are never alone! Go in together and see what you notice…
Bonus here, there really could be no better time than now to develop a daily ritual of quiet time. I began a daily practice of prayer and meditation in 2001 that was incredibly life-changing. I encourage anyone who will listen to just make time 5 days in a row and see what you notice. If you are more grounded, peaceful, clear emotionally, or just feel better in general, keep it up! It is a game-changer!
3/ Catch and Release… If you find the bustle or stress of holidays, gatherings, end-of-year deadlines, or perhaps another year that you didn’t get it all done, cause you some unpleasant thoughts or emotions, check your perspective on things and reset.
Say, there are some negative self-talk moments. For example, if you hear yourself cursing out another driver on your way to the mall, catch those thoughts that don’t feel good. They are anger, irritation, impatience, intolerance, frustration, powerlessness, and a plethora of others… I’m sure you get my drift here.
Catch them… and let them go! Release them into the ethers…the sky…the heavens…
And here’s the real trick here…
Replace them with something better. Shift your perspective!
Here’s a couple of examples:
The wiped-out cashier who’s fighting to stay courteous, but not doing so great because they’ve dealt with 50 people who were in a hurry, rude, and tired of the lines (just like you). You might get a little irritated but consider being them. Tip a little extra and tell them they have a great smile or a great voice or that you appreciate how they handled the guy in line before you… Catch your own irritation, toss it out the window, and replace it with kindness. I guarantee you’ll shift YOUR mood in a second, and with a bit of grace, theirs too.
Still have that 20 pounds you swore you were going to lose this year? Or maybe now it’s 30? Catch yourself before you start thinking about how weak or undisciplined you are, take a moment to send love to all the places in your body that you’ve been unhappy with (or even hated). Again…more with the guarantees… It will feel far better to love yourself than to criticize or hate. I promise.
Get my gist here?
Catch the negative… Release it… And replace it with something that serves your soul better.
4/ Give meaningfully… Now, I’m guilty of overspending this time of year. I love the conquest for the perfect gift. It’s not so much about shopping as it is the challenge of finding something the person I love will love. So, as I share this tip with you, know that I’m taking my own advice to heart.
Some of the most meaningful gifts I’ve ever received had little to do with their monetary value. They have been letters, cards, and art created by my children and grandchildren. They are emails from people I’ve helped over the years just sharing what in their life has changed because I cared about them, professionally and personally.
So, as you consider those you love and the desire to give them something they’ll love, aim for the heart. It can take just as much time to write a letter or perhaps create a poem as it might to drive to a store, shop, and wrap the gift. And…They may appreciate an effort of the heart far more. And so will your bank account.
5/ Stretch time… OK, so this one comes with a little woo. If you are a fan of the mystical too, you’ll love this. If you are a cynic, at least play along…
One of the beliefs that many spiritual and metaphysical people have is that there’s really no time and space. Time is an illusion.
So, I’ve played with this “matrix” in my own walk a few times and it’s always surprised me.
Here’s the tip… When you are feeling the stress of running late…to the meeting, the party, or the mall closing time, start repeating (in your mind or out loud), “There’s plenty of time. There’s plenty of time. There’s plenty of time.” And see what you notice…
Here’s what my experience has been (and I love that I’m reminding myself of this today!), what happens is I just feel more relaxed. I sense some ease in my soul, my heart rate, and my breath. And several times, I truly know it worked! I was on time, the deadline was met, or some idea on how to get things done more efficiently just miraculously popped into my thoughts. It’s a fun one to play with!
6/ Focus blocks… This time of year tends to come with a pretty long to-do list, which can also mean "I don't know where to start." Am I right?
So, this is something I used to call time blocking back in my corporate days. The primary gist here is to prioritize the to-do list and once you know the highest priority task, set everything aside. Put your phone aside, shut down the email, close the unnecessary tabs, and just focus intently on the ONE thing.
I used to be very effective with time blocking in my corporate career and applying this again this year has been amazing. I’ve always prided myself on my amazing ability to multi-task, and while sometimes I still do, focusing on ONE project at a time has truly increased my productivity, and my clarity with goals and really moved the needle on some projects I’ve wanted to accomplish for a very long time…
Try it!!
7/ Roll with it… This may be the most important tip of them all…
You know the saying “Life is what happens while you are making plans.”? Well, remember this.
Life is going to happen. Plans will change. Flights will be delayed. The tires may need air. The shipping date may change. Things will absolutely NOT always go according to plan. And if you can just adapt to those moments and move into acceptance of that, solutions and much softer emotions will be yours to have. Accept. Adapt. Smile and keep going…
As I said when opened this blog, this time of year comes with a ton of emotions relating to the season, the to-do’s, the reflection of the year, and more. I hope that some of what I’ve shared here supports you and that you have an amazing rest of the year!
Here’s to sparkling lights, loving loved ones, being kind for your own sake, and rolling out of one year and into the next.
With love,
Paula~
