Just over three weeks ago, on March 3rd, I married the man of my dreams. It was a beautiful wedding and just a total whirlwind of emotions, hugs, smiles, and many, many special moments!
Now, if you’ve ever had a wedding (which my husband and I hadn't) you know that there’s a lot to it; From choosing the venue to the flowers to colors, right down to the small details of what snacks to offer your bridesmaids and groomsmen when they're getting ready! Then there is timing and the general hope that all of the planning will actually flow accordingly.
However, let’s talk reality…
The florist may give you the flowers that go on your cake, which will be served two days away, in a plastic with no water. The slacks that were ordered for the groom and groomsmen may just all be too short. One (or more) of your bridesmaids may be sick or cranky and not feel very “celebratory.”
All of this actually happened.
Now, I'm known for being a glass-half-full kind of gal, so to some it will be no surprise that what occurred to me as I was walking on the clouds above it all was two things:
1/ Gratitude: I was truly grateful that my husband and I found one another and were going to celebrate that with the big party. We both remained excited through the whole planning process regardless of all of the things that were not as perfect as we had envisioned. He was my partner in all things wedding and we earnestly had a fun time together choosing the venue, food, invitations, cake flavors, suits, and even the socks that would show because his pants were too short.
2/ Groundedness: The dream of finding and marrying the right partner for life has been a long time coming (for both of us). As children, we did imagine a typical wedding, a happy family, and a stable life shared with a spouse. However, we didn't meet until we were fifty, so the timing of that plan was a lot later than we had imagined all those decades ago. So no matter what may not have gone perfectly, nothing would sway us from knowing that this dream was coming to life. This mindset alone made every imperfection so small.
In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s ALL small stuff.
Now, in the last couple of weeks before the wedding, as all of the details came to the final countdown and there were minor snags that could have turned a typical bride into Bridezilla, I started saying (and often singing) the mantra “Let it go.”
Each time I said it, often out loud, I felt a little Divine energy lift me up. It was as if my willingness to go with the flow and just have faith in the grander scheme of things was being rewarded.
One morning in those final countdown weeks, during my daily quiet time, I heard the phrase “Let go to hold on.”
It occurred to me that this statement was relevant to much more than just my wedding. I felt this energy of how important it is to hold on to our dreams, but to let go of the things that could get in the way of realizing them.
I have a few bucket list items that feel very important to me. Celebrating my marriage surrounded by my loved ones was one of them, and I am grateful to say it came together with beauty and flow and I'll never forget what a beautiful experience it was.
However, a few other dreams have been on the bucket list for a few decades too, and as I was fulfilling one checkmark, I realized that much of what I applied to this checkmark could be applied to other items on the list.
So, let me ask you to consider a few questions:
- Have you ever had a goal, yet found a million distractions that got in the way?
- Have you ever had a goal and spent a gazillion hours studying how to achieve it before taking action steps towards it?
- Have you ever been too perfectionistic and paid too much attention to some of the minor details along the way and it slowed you down?
- Have you ever done a little overthinking on something simple and then realized you took way more time than you actually had?
- And here’s a tough one… Have you ever had an instinct that certain people you were planning something important (to you) with were not the right people, but took the chance anyway, only to experience conflict, disconnect, zero lift-off, or complete breakdown halfway, or sooner, that ended the venture altogether?
I’m betting you guessed it, but my answer to all of these questions is yes.
And since I’m a betting woman, I’d also bet that I’m not alone on a clean sweep of yeses.
So, I encourage you to remember the mantra “Let it go”. If you prefer the term “pick your battles”, go with it. How about, "No rabbit holes!"? I love semantics.
Affirm to yourself however you like but use the words remembering that you have dreams to hold on to, dreams that are worthy of living, and not to let the small stuff get in the way. And it’s all small stuff!
I’ll add a little bonus tip here too.
When my wedding was coming together, there were many moments of envisioning the day. There were fun discussions with my husband, our children, the coordinator, and SO many with my adorable granddaughter. “Seeing” the goal achieved is a powerful exercise, and with a wedding, it’s impossible not to envision it ahead of time. And it was all that I had envisioned, imperfections and all. It is a day I’ll love forever as one of the best experiences of my life.
And bonus tip number two… Find a spunky four-year-old to talk about your dreams with! Children are these little Sparks of Light that hold your hand with wide eyes and great faith as you walk toward your dreams. They will hang on every image and word and make sure you don't stop believin'!
Stay grounded, my friends. Stay clear, hopeful, and excited about what’s to come and just walk right on by the rocks in the road.
And know, I'm walking right beside you, even if one of us stubs our toe,
Paula~
P.S. We loved how our professional photos turned out! If you are on FB, feel free to check out the whole wedding album! It was fun to share!
